ZANY ENGLISH QUIZ: THE ANSWERS

[continued from the Last Post]

The sections that have been made brown bold are ‘strange’: explanations for each of them appear on the next page.

My holiday began with a non-stop flight to Khushmandhyan. The best part of this journey was the in-flight movie that kept me literally glued to my seat. Halfway through the flight, our plane suddenly swerved; the stewardess said that this was done to avoid colliding with another plane. Whew! That was a near miss! I wish my Mum were here with me. I really miss not seeing her. But the lady sitting next to me said: “Don’t worry, kid, you’re not alone. I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth. Keep a stiff upper lip and you’ll be fine.”

A nameless official made an announcement that all was well and that the in-flight attendants would soon start serving hot cups of coffee. I didn’t want any coffee; what I wanted was to have my cake and eat it, too! I’m speaking tongue in cheek, of course.

All this time I had been barefoot. I put on my shoes and socks, and walked towards the pantry. There was a sign that said: “Watch your head.” Well, I put my best foot forward and checked out the goodies that were on a tray. I lucked out! There was everything worth eating in that lot. I decided to go back and forth between my seat and the pantry; perhaps a genie would magically give me a belly big enough to devour that ‘ohsodelicious’ spread.

Details:

a non-stop flight: If you get on one of those, you’ll never get down!

literally glued to my seat: Unless you have glue on your bum, the chances of being literally stuck to your seat are less than nil. We actually mean ‘figuratively glued to my seat’, but it’s best to say: The movie kept me glued to my seat. No cliches.

a near miss: A near miss amounts to a collision! A close call is actually a near hit.

I really miss not seeing her: That means you’re happy not to be seeing her! What you mean is I really miss seeing her.

to the ends of the earth: Christopher Columbus proved to us that the earth has no ends!

keep a stiff upper lip: In moments of fear of disappointment, it is the lower lip that we are trying to keep from quivering. The upper lip can look after itself.

A nameless official: As far as I know, everyone has a name, even officials! What should be stated is an unnamed official.

hot cups of coffee: Do you care if the cup is hot? It should be cups of hot coffee.

to have my cake and eat it, too: It should be I want to eat my cake and have it, too, because you would still want to possess your cake after having eaten it .

speaking tongue in cheek: So, can anyone understand you?

I put on my shoes and socks: Whew! This is a tough one. Wouldn’t it be easier to do the reverse: I put on my socks and shoes?

watch your head: Much the same as trying to bit your teeth! If you succeed, let me know.

put my best foot forward: I don’t know about you, but I only know of humans having two feet, not three. We say good, better, and best. Thus, what should be said is put my better foot forward. This is no different to when people say: “May the best team win.” when there are only two teams playing. It should be: May the better team win.

I lucked out: What you really mean is I lucked in. ‘Lucked out’ literally means that you’re out of luck!

go back and forth: Don’t you have to go forth before you go back?

[Excerpted from 'Unleashing Genius with the World's Most Powerful Learning Systems', by Dilip Mukerjea.]

Say Keng's personal comments:

Dilip Mukerjea certainly draws on his fine & fabulous command of the English Language, which is the hallmark of his clear & succinct writing style, as expressed throughout all the books he has written over the years.