Continuing from an earlier excerpt from Dilip Mukerjea's new book, Brainaissance: The Renaissance of the Brain & The Rebirth of Imagination:

HUMOUR IS SERIOUS BUSINESS

The Accidental Entrepreneur:

"So, what made you decide to go into business for yourself?" "It was “Something my last boss said."

"Really, what was that?" "You're fired."

A Philadelphia dentist, Sam Lipschitz, went off to India to find the meaning of life. Months went by and his mother didn’t hear a word from him. Finally, she took a plane to India and asked for the wisest man there. She was directed to an ashram, where the guard told her that she would have to wait a week for an audience with the guru, and at that time she would only be allowed to speak three words to him. She waited, carefully preparing her words. When she was finally ushered in to see the guru, she said to him, “Sam, come home!”

Two guys are hunting in the forest and they run across a bear. They both take off running, but after a while one guy stops, takes off his backpack and pulls out a pair of running shoes. The other guy sees this and is wondering what is going on, so he stops, runs back to the guy and asks "Why are you putting on your running shoes, do you really think you are going to be able to outrun that bear with those?" The other guy said: "I don't have to out run the bear, I just have to out run YOU!"

A robot walks into an Oktoberfest celebration, orders a drink, and offers some cash.

The barmaid says, "Hey, we don't serve robots."

And the robot says, "Oh, but someday you will."

A gingerhead is sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer keeps bugging her to play a game with him so as to determine who has more general knowledge. Finally, he says he will offer her hundred-to-one odds. Every time she doesn’t know the answer to one of the questions, she will pay him five dollars. Every time he doesn’t know the answer to one of her questions, he will pay her five hundred dollars.

She agrees to play, and he asks her, “What is the distance from the earth to the nearest star?”

She says nothing, just hands him a five-dollar bill.

She asks him, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes back down with four legs?”

He thinks for a long time but in the end has to concede that he has no idea. He hands her 500 dollars.

The gingerhead puts the money in her purse without comment.

The lawyer says, “Wait a minute. What’s the answer to your question?”

Without a word, she hands him five dollars.

A man walks into a bank and says he wants to borrow $200 for six months. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has.

The man says, “I have a fancy blue Mercedes. Here are the keys. Keep it until the loan is paid off.”

Six months later the man returns to the bank, repays the $200 plus $10 interest and takes back his car. The loan officer says, “Sir, if I may ask, why would a man who drives a luxury Mercedes need to borrow $200?”

The man replies, “I had to go to Europe for six months. Where else could I store a Merc that long for $10?”