HUMOUROUS PERSPECTIVES

It has been suggested that electric blankets should be crossed with toasters so those late risers can pop out of bed early every morning.

* * *

Back from work, the busy lady director asked her little boy: "And what have you been doing today?"

"Oh Mum, I played Postman Pat. I went to every house down our street and delivered letters. They were the ones I found tied with a pink ribbon in your cupboard."

* * *

Concluding a lecture on parachuting, the aviation lecturer said: "If your parachute fails to open, and after that, even the reserve 'chute remains unresponsive, hmm, I believe that's what is known as jumping to a conclusion."

* * *

The young graduate had become ensnared in a financial tangle. Several months ago, he loaned a friend in need $1000. The repayment did not appear to be on his friend's agenda, so the young man approached his father for some advice.

The father said, "No problem, son. Just write him a letter and say you need the $1500 that you loaned him."

"But Dad, it was $1000, not $1500."

"I know, son," said the father, "but if you up the figure he'll write back and state that he owes you only $1000. You then have it in writing."

* * *

Herbert Prochnow's wisdom: "A vacation is a succession of 2s. It consists of 2 weeks, which are 2 short. Afterward, you are 2 tired 2 return 2 work and 2 broke not 2."

* * *

There was one seat vacant on a crowded train. A woman turned towards another standing by the vacant seat and sweetly said, "Do sit down. You're older than I am."

Glaring at her, the other woman snarled, "I am not! Sit down yourself!". So the other woman sat down, smiling serenely. After a few stops she turned to the person sitting next to her, "That remark never fails to get me a seat."

[Excerpted from 'Surfing the Intellect: Building Intellectual Capital for a Knowledge Economy', by Dilip Mukerjea.]